Jesus gave some demanding requirements for discipleship.
Christians tend to conflate (combine, merge) evangelism with discipleship, but the two should not be confused with one another. The terms of eternal life are not the same as the terms of discipleship. Eternal life is by grace through faith, but discipleship is demanding of surrender and sacrifice.
"25 Now great multitudes went with Him. And He turned and said to them, 26 "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple. 27 And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple." Luke 14:25-27
Many years ago, I had a college advisor send me a tape recording of a sermon he gave on discipleship. I remember him saying that "all disciples are Christians, but not all Christians are disciples."
I believe that is true, because the terms of eternal life are not the same as the terms of discipleship. Jesus gave some demanding requirements to be his disciple. I don't think one would want to fulfill these requirements without being a believer first, and that may be why he made the requirements so demanding, for a disciple is a pupil of a teacher, and to be Jesus' disciple, the demands were such that believing in him as the Christ must come first.
The hating one's parents should be understood in light of the fact that the fifth commandment says to "honor your father and mother." The hating here has to do with priorities. Your priority of commitment is to the Lord. Though you are to honor your parents, they are not to have priority over the things of the Lord. This is how to understand the Scripture that says "Jacob I have loved, but Esau I have hated": God's priority of commitment was to Jacob and Israel and not Esau and Edom. There will be times when you have to make a decision of priority between doing God's will or your parents' (or family members') will or desire.
Taking up the cross is about suffering for the truth. To be a disciple of Christ, you have to be willing to suffer for the truth, just as Jesus did. If they persecuted the teacher, they would persecute his disciples: "24 "A disciple is not above his teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for a disciple that he be like his teacher, and a servant like his master. If they have called the master of the house Beelzebub, how much more will they call those of his household! 26 Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed and hidden that will not be known." Matthew 10:24-26
