I often see people seeking to justify women in the role of elder or overseer by appealing to all the references to women in the New Testament and what they did, but none of those references specifically state that what they did was in the role as an elder or overseer.
What we see is that women, like men, have the same spiritual gifts or functions toward edifying the Church assembly, but many conflate giftedness with that role that has qualifications, being elder or overseer, and that role is by appointment. Functions like "pastor" or "preacher" have become common designating terms for the lead elder, but they are really functions that can have an application to either sex. One who pastors or preaches or teaches can do it without being an elder. You could say that all elders are teachers, but not all teachers are elders. Elders must meet specific qualifications; the Apostle Paul set forth these qualifications in First Timothy and in Titus. Paul sent Titus to "appoint" elders. Elders are not self-appointed.
One of the qualifications is that the elder is the "husband of one wife." One of the arguments against women pastors is women cannot be the husbands of one wife--Paul is clearly speaking to men. The comeback is that women could not practice polygamy, and so Paul is addressing specifically men in that case. I've read the claim that it would be "stupid" for Paul to have said that a woman "must be the wife of one husband." But is it really a stupid thing to say? In the same letter to Timothy, in setting forth the restrictions concerning taking in widows by the church, Paul says, "Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man ..." 1 Timothy 5:9 So he actually said such a thing. If he could say it about widows, surely, he could have said it about elders, if he was including women as candidates for that role. Was he referring to polyandry, being a woman with more than one husband, or was it about divorce or being devoted to one man at a time? That's another issue that one has to wrestle with, but the fact that he said it means could have been said if women were candidates for elder.
One other thing to point out is that when Paul gives the qualifications for Deacons, he says, "Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things." 1 Timothy 3:11 "Wives" can be translated "women," and this gives justification for women to be deacons. Those who point out that male pronouns are not used in the preceding qualifications for elder and deacon but added to the text would need to explain why a specific reference to women and their conduct needs to be made. If the qualifications are non-gender specific, then why single out women? The non-gender specific claim so that the qualifications can be applied to women is not helped by saying the reference in verse 11 is about women and not wives. Aren't those qualifications needed by men too? Why make a specific reference to women? Nevertheless, I believe it is referring to wives of the deacons (and surely of the elders), because why single out women for a few specific qualifications apart from men? But to have these requirements of the wives of the men who would be considered for the role of elder or deacon would make sense. Women serving as deacons is not going to receive as much opposition as with elder because of 1 Timothy 3:11, and the role doesn't have the same weight as elder, when it comes to having authority over another. But I believe that "wives" is more likely than "women."
I see discussion about the word "submit" brought up on this issue. I would write more on this later, but the claim is made that though Scripture says that wives are to submit to their husbands, it also says we are to submit to one another. Submission speaks of being "put under," or to come under the authority of another. I just want to briefly point out that all words need to be considered in the context in which they are used. It's like the word "love." Men are to love their wives, and yet we are to love one-another. One is not going to love others like he loves his wife. Likewise, a woman submitting to her husband is different that how she submits to another man. In the church, we submit to one another by respecting the differing functions or gifts each have, but that submission is not the same as between a husband wife. In First Corinthians 7, Paul said that a man has authority over the body of his wife, and wife has authority over her husband's body; neither has authority over the body of someone else. Submission to an employer is not the same as submission in other contexts. Yes, we all submit to one another, but it is understood differently in each unique context.
One other thing... God told Eve that "her desire shall be to her husband, but he shall rule over you." Yes, that is part of the curse. But consider that God said the same kind of thing to Cain concerning sin: "Its desire is for you, but you shall rule over it." The wording is mostly the same. The desire is about control: the wife wants to control her husband, and sin wants to control us. The ruling part is easier to address concerning sin, because obviously God wants us to rule over sin, but what about with reference to the conflict between wife and husband? Yes, it's about the curse. Do we need to carry it out? God is saying this is how it will be. But does it have to be that way? Does the man have to "rule" over his wife? Not necessarily. Does the wife have to control her husband or desire to have control? No. But I wonder if all this effort to put women in control over men by putting them in a role of authority over men is seeking to fulfill the curse. If women don't want men to rule over them, why should they think men want women to control them? Of course, a leadership role will involve some direction being given and responsibility laid on the one who gives it. Can the woman accept this role of men in general and of husbands and elders specifically? Some can't, and some and possibly many have been raised up not to.
In the end, people are going to do what they want. I suppose find the church that agrees with you. We shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ to be judged according to what we did in this life, whether good or bad. God help us.
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